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We lead by example. You didn't say whether you had sons or daughters, or both What would you want for your daughters' marriage? Is it "cheaper to keep her?" Is that what you'd want for YOUR daughter? Please consider what you are role modeling. 2nd question: What do you want? What is authentic, for you? If you too have totally grown apart, I would think you would be a lot happier to move out, and live a life that you re-create, and re-establish, and show your that their happiness is important, because you value your happiness. Its about healing and this is what people do, they take steps to move on and rebuild, start over with every new day. Maybe its time to get some legal advise to full consider your options. Get information, review your best option. Talk to your wife after you weigh your options, and read about the process of mediation, and how to have a decent, spiritual divorce. go to and read as much as you can, so you know what to expect, and how to avoid pain and unnecessary expense. Maybe this is what you are support to do, learn to heal and move on, and be happy. Good luck and God bless.
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My husband and I certainly do not agree on everything. So, for us to have a fight every time we disagreed would be crazy and honestly, who could keep a relationship like that going for too? Not me, for sure. A disagreement is not something either one of us tries to 'win', we're a team. If it impacts the relationship, like 'one of is hurt by the other' type of disagreement, there is a need to come to some sort of compromise wherein both of us feel heard appreciated and acknowledged. The only way to do that is to listen and communicate calmly and non-defensively. Not letting issues fester is top of the list also. This stance diffuses much negative feeling for both people involved and makes resentment far less likely to happen, as we both feel safe enough to resolve any issues right away. A disagrement that is just a difference of opinion doesn't even warrant any fight. We'd feel silly. We do joke around a lot and sometimes we can get snarky with each other, especially when we root for different sports teams but that is the extent. Neither of us would turn that into an argument. And we're both, after 17 years together, still hot and heavy for each other. People are often shocked when we tell them how we've been married when we meet them. So, fighting isn't the ONLY way to feel passion and excitement in a relationship. YMMV :) 

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