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Something like "erotic energy work" is a big deal to not disclose. Plus, despite that, it sounds like you've done a lot on your end to accept this revelation about your partner. I'm not seeing anything from her end which recognizes this acceptance. On the contrary, it sounds like she's responded with bad instead. Obviously, I'm not privvy to your day to day interactions, but on the surface, the burden of the emotional work in this relationship has clearly fallen on you, rather than it being something the two of you take up as a team. Maybe as others say there's a way to get her to "check in", but personally I don't think that's your responsibility anymore. Good requires action from everyone involved, and it has to be something she wants as much as you do. A time of separation might be a good idea. My thinking is to allow time to get to know each other again under less charged circumstances, no sex or physical intimacy. Then the two of you have a to re-establish trust while having more of a complete picture of each other. Dating with full disclosure, such as it is. How that goes would really determine whether or not you'd be compatible in the run. Caveat: I'm a friends first type.
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For this very good analogy explained. Another one is the Slave Period and Civil. The Slaves, also had to 'adjust' for a indeed. They still had the mentality of slaves. I feel that women who are held in a faulty marriage, with or without physical, tend to remain in that frame of mind like Slaves in alot of ways! So, using the SOUTHERN SLAVE DAYS as a comparison, is not making light of Slavery! Maybe, We trained ourselves to "serve men". Its almost as if we are Pavlovs dogs! Must seek a new Perimeter! A new beginning comes hard. Even now. We are working on it ."but it don't feel like freedom yet". We didn't keep a piece of the apple pie for ourselves. Maybe we should have. Our male are much too self centered..and we are to blame .for not teaching them .to GIVE. Have we ruined our culture, by spoiling our men? Our boy? What can we do to rectify this??? 

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