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'Way back when I was in the military, my wife and I had a very difficult time adjusting to the military lifestyle as a couple. The guys I knew were constantly undermining any sense of personal accomplishment on my part and I would take it home and dump it on her. It literally took her standing up for herself and telling me that she would not be treated in such a manner for it to change. Even then, it didn't end overnight, it was a years process of each of us teaching the other one how they wished to be properly treated. In your case: -since it's your car, I would recommend talking to him about rearranging the privileges. If he chose to give his sister his car, regardless of whether or not you discussed it beforehand, you didn't anticipate this kind of treatment in return for your agreement, so the agreement has to change. Whether this means a more equal sharing of the car or him retrieving his car, or the two of you making a definitive pan for getting another car and sticking to it, etc. -if you wish to get a job, get one. There are plenty of ways (some mentioned above) of arranging transportation, whether for yourself or your husband. If not, the way we handle it in our house is that whoever isn't working is responsible for X amount of the daily necessities for keeping the house in presentable shape (this applies to when I am at home waiting on the next project as well, so it equalizes out rather well) and the "worker " has a list of items and various occasional special requests to take care of in their time off work. Find what works for you, and do it. -most importantly, communicate. I can't stress enough how important communication is in any relationship, let alone military ones. Be careful not to present things to him as problems, most guys, especially those who elect military service, have a predisposition toward "fixing," and try to avoid saying things in such a way as to subconsciously aassign blame. ("I left a great, established job when I married you" turns to "I'm miserable because I'm not working and it's your fault" in his mind rather easily)
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